Shall We Clean the Toilets?

I got an amusing notice on my desk last month that stood out among the usual boring ones I get regarding school schedule changes and such.  The heading said トイレ掃除に参加しませんか？ or literally, “Won’t you participate in toilet cleaning?”  However I prefer to use the less literal “Shall We Clean the Toilets?” because it has a nice ring to it.

To Students and Guardians,

Shall We Clean the Toilets?

We previously discussed the cleaning of the school toilets at the beginning of Winter Vacation.  ”Meeting to Learn How to Clean *** City” will commence with toilet cleaning at our school during the times listed below.  People who wish to participate should fill in the following application form, detach it, and submit it to their homeroom teacher.

1. Date/ Time: February 1st, 2009 at 8:30 AM

2. Place: Student Entryway

3. Bring: Inside shoes, slippers, boots, cleaning towel, 300 yen participant’s fee

4. Etc: Please wear clothing which is easy to work in.  Everyone will clean with bare hands, but you may wear rubber gloves if you wish.  This is up to the individual participant.

I’d like to mention the origin of such a bizarre ritual as mass school toilet cleanings.  It is in fact the students who clean the school in Japan every day, not a separate set of staff.  Presumably in an effort to prevent accidents with harmful chemicals, the students do not clean the floors and surfaces of the toilets with soap or chemicals, they use only water.  

Hence, the toilets are left for upwards of 6 months used day in and out by 800 students and over 50 staff without being disinfected or sanitized.  So much for that image of Japan being obsessed with cleanliness.

I was roped into cleaning the toilets with sanitizer once after an outbreak of the flu cancelled classes and we staff had to disinfect the school with buckets and rags.  I can assure you that is not a job one wants to do bare handed.  

I wouldn’t pay 300 yen to have the privilege to clean some toilets.  I would however pay 300 yen as often as necessary for them to hire some staff to do it for us.  I’ve been told they don’t have the budget for things so frivolous.

Avril vs. the textbook

Once again popular culture has proven to be a better teacher than the ones who make it their job to stand in front of classrooms full of students every day.

The typically unintelligible and extra-syllable laden speaking tests delivered to me by the students had a lone girl who stood out with nearly perfect pronunciation, however quite imperfect grammar.  

I was completely astonished.  Was she taking extra classes outside of school?  If so, why wasn’t she delivering the typically rhetorical machine-gun speech like most of the juku students?

We got to the last question on her test: “What do you like to do in your free time?”  She answered: “I often listen to music.  I like Avril.”

I have detested Avril Lavigne since she invaded my aural memory when I was in junior high.  And for the first time since Walmart forced me to listen to her, she has my gratitude.

My Life Story

I was born in Niigata on July 14. 

When I was 4 years old, I liked Poket Monster.  I didn’t like the sea and fish very much. 

When I was 11 years old, I went to swimming school.  But I didn’t like the sea and fish. 

When I was 14 years old, I like no sea, no fish.  For example I don’t like Iwashi (sardines) now.  

I love freedom and God and money. My friends call me Bob.  I can fly! 

I’ll be a God.  I’ll destroy in Japan. 

I’ll live in the sky.  I’ll life this time.  Life is wonderful.  

–By a junior high student of mine (who shall remain unnamed…) 

I prefer droopy ones.

I had an interesting conversation with some students today.

A pair of girls in an 8th grade class talked with me about how foreigners have “high noses,” and how much Japanese people like it. They were curious if in America, the same was true. Was my moderately high-bridged nose desirable? for example.

I told them that my nose was pretty normal, and that having too big a nose was very undesirable, and that we don’t really think of it in terms of high or low. I also commented that to some Americans, the Asian low-bridged nose was very cute, particularly on women. They seemed very amused and surprised by this.

Then they asked me about eyes; if big eyes were preferred or not, and what about shape?

They told me that Japanese prefer “droopy eyes”/ 垂れ目 to “turned-up, slit eyes”/ ツリ目, something I had never heard of before, and they had to explain it to me. Apparently eyes with down-turned corners are appealing in a “warm” sort of way, whereas up-turned eyes look like a cat or a fox, someone cunning or sly.

After having this explained to me, I began to look at their faces in a different way to find this attribute, and somehow a peculiar new visual awareness took place in my mind. I began to see the difference between droopy and not. I talked with two other teachers about it and they confirmed that it was some kind of universal Japanese fact; to prefer droopy eyes over turned-up ones.

Apparently it’s not entirely universal; here is a page on eye cosmetic surgery for Japanese women.

The last picture on the page explains a procedure to lengthen the corners of the eyes, for someone who would like to “fix droopy or turned-up eyes.”

The rest of the pictures on the page explain procedures to enlarge the eyelids.

Beats silicon injections if you ask me.

I’m told I’m turning Japanese

[Pearl enters a 1st grade class room in rural Japan]

1st grader: It’s Pearl-sensei!
Pearl-sensei: Hello!
1st grader: Pearl-sensei, where are you from?
Pearl-sensei: I’m from America.
1st grader: I thought you were from Italy, but America, huh?
Pearl-sensei: Yes, America.

[Several minutes elapse and class begins. Suddenly 1st grader stands up and points towards the front of the room in excitement]

1st grader: I’ve got it! You’re Japanese!
Pearl: No, I’m American.
1st grader: But you’re speaking Japanese! You’re American, but you’re speaking Japanese! You’re Japanese!
Pearl: I’m American.
1st grader: You’re Japanese!
Pearl: I’m American, but I can speak Japanese.
1st grader: You’re Japanese!

[Class resumes]

-The End-

Anpanman and Another Anomaly

Today one of my students from English Conversation Class told me that he was shocked to discover that an auto insurance client of his was a 94 year-old man.

When I asked him if his client was hunched over and senile like most men his age, he told me that, on the contrary, he stood straight and tall and dutifully watched over his bed-ridden wife, who was 5 years or so younger than him.

A rare breed indeed.

In other news, a quote from the English Wikipedia entry on Anpanman:

Anpanman doesn’t need food or drink to sustain himself and has never been seen eating. It is believed the bean jam in his head gives him sustenance.

From the epicurian archives:

Anpanman! Betrayed by your own deliciousness!

アンパンマン！かわいそう！！ [WARNING! not a correct translation..... ^_^v]

To be or not to do

Today at lunch I noticed that the male teachers I was sitting with were wearing suits. When I asked one of them about it he said it was because the students have a test today. The teachers have to wear suits for the formal end of season tests. I’m not sure why I never noticed it before.

In regards to the test, one of the English teachers asked me if this was correct:

Who is the teacher who teaches you math?

Ms. Inaba does.

I told him that this sounded strange, but I tried to explain why this English might not be correct. It occured to me that in English, answering a question using “to be” verb with “to do” verb sounds strange. The question should be answered:

Ms. Inaba is.

Thus:

Who teaches you math?

Ms. Inaba does.

makes sense, while the aforementioned does not. Or, it is nonsensical.

I do not understand. I am confused.

The “to be” verb unnecessarily muddies our language, in my opinion, but who am I to argue with the lexical capabilities of a history of collective thought?

Middle School Survey/ 中学校のアンケート

Here are my answers to a survey my students gave me about my town.

The survey translation is in italics, my answers are not:

Nice to meet you! I’m *******, a 3rd year student at ****** Junior High School. I am collecting information under the theme “Is Tsubame City an easy city for foreigners to live in?” We would appreciate your cooperation in taking this survey. Thank you.

Q1: What do you think of Tsubame City’s natural environment?

The rice fields and mountains are beautiful.

田圃と山が美しいです。

Q2: Compared to your hometown, are prices more or less expensive?

Mostly the same, but fruit and DVDs are much more expensive.

だいたい同じだけれど、果物とDVDはアメリカよりとても高いです。

Q3: In your everyday life, when are times when you think, “This is different from my hometown.”

In America, it is not unusual for a non-white person to speak English. But in Japan, it is very unusual for a non-asian person to speak Japanese. I think it is very strange.

アメリカでは白人では無い人が英語を話せるのは珍しいことではありません。でも、日本では日本人以外の人が日本語を話せるのはとても珍しいことです。不思議な感じがしました。

Q4: What interests you the most about Tsubame City’s culture?

The food culture is very fun. The origin of foods or how foods are healthy is very important here; I like it.

食べ物の文化はとっても面白いです。日本人が原産地とか栄養の知識に興味を持っているのはいいことだと思います。

Q5: Is the food delicious?

Yes, very!

はい、とっても！

Q6: Is your workplace good?

Yes, the teachers and students at Yoshida are very kind to me. I enjoy working here.

はい、先生方と生徒も私にとても優しいです。働くことを楽しんでいます。

Q7: Do you ever feel sad as a foreigner? If so, what times?

I feel sad when people just see “foreigner” and don’t see “person.”

”外国人”として見られてしまって、”個人”として見られていない時は悲しい感じがします。

Q8: While you are living in Tsubame, are there ever times you think, “They really ought to change that.” What times for example?

I wish that there was central heating in schools and homes. It is too cold sometimes.

学校と私のアパートにセントラルヒーティングが欲しいです。時々寒すぎます。

Q9: Do you want to continue living in Tsubame?

I prefer big cities like Tokyo, but for now, Tsubame is nice.

東京のような都市のほうがすきだけれど、今のところ、燕が良いです。

Q10: Henceforth, what do you want Tsubame City to become?

I’m not sure, but I’m looking forward to seeing it.

良く分かりませんけれど楽しみにしています。

That’s all of the questions. I think they will be very useful for my class. Thank you for cooperating with my survey.

I sent the survey to three other JET teachers in the area and asked that they might send back their English answers before today so that one of my teachers can translate them for the students at my school to use for their class project. No one has sent back answers yet.

Paranoia and Curiosity

I am finally beginning to understand the JETs I met when I first got here, mainly the ones who, at the time, seemed crazy to me. They were paranoid, frustrated, loved what they were doing but clearly needed to relax.

I understand them because I can tell I am becoming one of those people. I just wish for once, that the teachers I work with, whose job is to teach English, actually understood what I am saying. Even if I use the slowest and simplest words possible, it doesn’t work. I am afraid to use Japanese because I believe that if I did, they would never speak to me in English. Half of them don’t anyway. I don’t want to lose my identity to my language. It strikes me the most benign of situations and yet somehow so difficult for me to understand and fix.

Recently some students have been creating surveys to give to the English teachers for a special class project. I was sent a survey from a different middle school comparing my hometown to this town in convenience, and under the question, “What is inconvenient about this town?” I wrote that “I don’t go shopping very often because people stare at me”. After sending it, I began to wonder if this answer was too candid, or I had done something bad.

I’m always wondering if my reactions are right or wrong, if going from my gut is wrong, and it bothers me. I can’t intuit situations and use what is familiar to me to understand them. I wondered if I should have said “I don’t go shopping because everyone is curious about me.” This is what they always tell me to explain it, that they are curious about me.

Salmon Experiment

Today in class, I chatted with the English teacher, Ms. Nakamura, about natto/納豆.

We both love natto, and we were talking about the different variety of things you can mix into it, like eggs or green onions. One of the students was bragging that he had mixed umeboshi/梅干 (pickled plum) with his that morning. We took a vote in class and agreed it sounded disgusting to everyone but him.

Then I told them about how a couple days before, I had put two slices of raw salmon on top of two cups of rice into my rice cooker and turned it on “fast cook” mode. The salmon and rice turned out perfect and I was able to use the leftovers to make instant ochazuke/茶漬け last night.

I was told that this was like an “experiment” and, like the umeboshi with natto, they had never heard of someone doing it. Actually my Japanese language/Japanese cooking private teacher, Ms. Yokoyama, had mentioned it to me before, but she used a special machine that was specially designated so as not to potentially taint flavor of rice later made in this machine.

I am hardly one for sacramentalism however; I didn’t even go to my own Prom.

On an unrelated note, I’ve been trying to write this post for the last 10 minutes but three of my students have been bugging me in the staff room, one of them jabbering at me in nearly perfect English. His friends are following behind him wondering what he is saying, and the other staff are commenting that they are surprised I understand him and are visibly annoyed by the noise they are creating.

Normally this kid just talks out at me in class; this is the first time he’s ever tried to sustain conversation with me. Looks like I should set up an English conversation time after lunch.